Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.



Fun times, fun times! :)

Let me start by saying that I can cook pretty well. Let me rephrase, I can cook well enough for things to turn out edible and most of time liked enough to eat (well, except when I find my daughter K hanging her head over the trashcan because she doesn't want to swallow it! lol). But I try very hard ~ I put a lot of time into grocery shopping & attempting new recipes to keep it fun. So that makes this week all the more funny to me. It's okay, you can laugh too!

Imagine my hubby's surprise to come home from work to find 3 baseball, rock hard baked potatoes lined up nicely on the stove. Nope, it wasn't a new artsy craft I was attempting. Yep, that was to be my lunch! Well, not all 3... but I overcooked them -- not once, not twice -- but THREE separate times! I am the "Microwave Queen" so surely I know that you only cook one potato for 5 minutes. So I would never ever cook one for 15 minutes, the next for 12 minutes, then in tears & near starvation... cook the last one for 11 minutes, praying it would turn out. I would know that it was wayyyy too long -- especially after the 1st one! I mean, I know everything there is to know about cooking -- I'd never make baseballs on purpose! And I'd especially not leave them out lined up so fancy so me & the hubby could joke on my microwave skills later. Nope, not me!

I'd never do the above hilarious thing only to give up after the 3rd attempt turned also into a baseball... and scream "Ugggghhh....forget it!" outloud to myself and pick up Taco Bell on the way to pick up the kiddos from school. Definitely not me!

Another thing that I would never not do in my small little kitchen is burn the copper bottoms straight off my cooking pots! I *always* pay attention to which burner I turn on (I'd never cut on the wrong one, only to have kids fighting in the other room yelling for a referree{mom!!!}); and I always pay attention to how long something was cooked (like the water that somehow mysteriously disappeared, leaving an empty pot to heat up on high!). Again, I am a good cook ~ and I always pay the utmost attention to what I've got going on. I'm all about multi-tasking. I've had these same pots & pans forever -- so I wouldn't burn the bottoms off and embarrass myself like that TWO times. Never, not me!

I did not get on to my kids yesterday for playing in the mud/icky water while DH & I talk about what all needs to be ordered for this week at the new house. I would never tell the kids to go out and play because we've got talking to do. I'm the perfect mom after all, right? So, I wasn't surprised when little K came up to me (with mud from head to toe) asking to wash her hands (and she was worried about her hands?!?). No, she wasn't in her cute black Mary Jane shoes that I ohhh so love either... I always make sure she has on her play shoes because she's already ruined like 5 pairs down there playing in the messy sand pile. And my good boy C made sure to stay away because he didn't know what excuse to make up for all the mess they had all over them, instead he just continued to play in it while his little 5 year old sister got in trouble for the both of them. So imagine my surprise when after I did not question her as to what they were thinking (!) -- she so sweetly (while looking like a total mud monster) turned around and said, "but momma, you said that you made mud pies when you were little too." Okay, so she's cute & sweet... but I did not have to turn my head from laughing because she was soooo right.

I did not got excited one my rare shopping excursion last week about finding a *really cute* kids continent shower curtain at Ross -- for $5.99! Yep, now they could learn about continents & pee pee at the same time, hooray!! I'm a dork, I admit it. Anyway, I quickly hung it up that night in their bathroom --> it sooo needed a makeover and I couldn't wait for the kids to say how cute it was! Only to almost kill us all with the overly strong, way nasty plastic fumes. Yuck! Blah! We needed respirators stat!! It was honestly terrible and I almost ripped it down and threw it out on the backporch until it didn't smell so bad. The kids couldn't use their bathroom for 2 days and the cute continent shower curtain was a BIG fat flop! So, instead of getting good mommy praises I did not end up getting laughed at from the hubby. Sometimes you've just gotta laugh! :)

I am not sitting here for the second day in a row with sweat pants on & frizzy, frazzled hair. I do care about looking my best, I'd never do that. Of course I did my laundry lastnight because I had put it off long enough already. I wouldn't procrastinate further, nope not me!

I did not look in the mirror this morning on the way to take the kids to school and think of how it looks like I rolled straight out from under a rock. And how I hoped that no-one else noticed it. Nope, not me... I'm wayyy cuter than that! ha ha :)

~Ashley